I am Tony Guru and this is the story of how it all began.

I was sitting at my house alone relaxing, something I did a lot more often in my pre-Guru days, when I got a call from my aunt Mary. This usually means trouble and this time was no different. Over the music in the background, I can hear her yelling that I need to come to Entertaining Sports Bar in Fountain Valley because she’s about to get in a fight. Knowing that this probably meant she was about to start a fight, I jumped into my car and like Mighty Mouse, here I come to save the day.

I pull up to the bar and instead of the flashing blue lights and broken furniture I am expecting, I am greeted with a cold beer ready and waiting on me. It turns out that either Mary, or the person that she got into it with, were too sober or too reasonable to escalate the situation to an actual ruckus (my money’s on the other guy). Since I was already at the bar and it is one of my favorite hobbies, I started drinking. Mary is talking two younger guys one of whom, she informs me on the sly, she is trying to set up with my cousin Andrea who is not even there. Who do these mystery men turn out to be?; None other than Mikey Guru and his friend Rhino. We drink a few beers and Mary actually ends up getting a phone number from Mikey, who I will come to learn, never passes up new party opportunities or the chance of meeting a cute girl.

The very next night we go back to Entertaining with the full entourage: me, Aunt Mary, Andrea the mystery girl, and her friend Krystal. Mary then takes the initiative to call up Mikey G to come to the bar and join us. I am pretty sure the number is a fake because it has some weird area code I’ve never heard of which I am convinced proves that Mikey is originally from Jupiter. This turned out to be one of the 7 times that I have ever been proven wrong, Mikey lived just down the street and showed up with Rhino in tow within 30 minutes. After many games of pool and many, many pitchers of beer, we closed down the bar. Mikey, being Mikey, insists that everyone go back to his place to indulge in some late night drinking festivities. Mikey mixed up some Mimosas for the girls, then he and I did some hard core bonding while sampling his mind blowing collection of high grade tequilas. Mikey warmed up his turntables and scratched out some beats while we played bones until it was time to watch the sun come up. Good times.

That is how the legend began and later when Mikey Guru introduced me to Dude Guru, I became Tony Guru and the Triad of Terror was complete. We are the Drunken Gurus and these are our stories.

On a different note, Entertaining Sports Bar is one of Fountain Valley’s best kept secrets. Bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, lots of pool tables that are always open, and free darts make me give this place an 8 out of 10.